Saturday, December 29, 2012

Winter break 2012 - Ontario

Assalamualaikum! It's been a wonderful winter break. It was one hell of a car ride to Peterborough. 19 painful hours! The journey should have taken only 14 hours max but the roads were too slippery (icy like a hockey rink) due to freezing rain. So we had to maintain a speed of 60 to 90 km/h. Passing by Quebec city, our car termasuk gaung/parit kecil. Kecil je tak besar. Jangan cemas. A truck had to pull the car out while we waited outside in the cold weather. Though, I wonder what happened to our winter. It's been above (-15) degrees Celcius, which is odd. It should've dropped lower by now.



halfway out

at MySukan aka MyCanada Games with team Jangoks @ Scarborough, Ontario.

Anyways, I'm having a good time with my girlfriends. It's been ages since we last gathered like this. Like the old times, when we were all in college, so havoc I tell you. 
We spend most of our times in the kitchen like the makciks we are, watching horror movies while munching on jajan, discussing about marriages, household stuff, sometimes cakap harga pinggan mangkuk and emas lol!


Let's go through a week of my winter break briefly, shall we?



Boxing day sale was bizzare as always. No surprises there. But it was satisfying! I did my shopping at the Toronto Eaton Centre, Toronto's top tourist attraction. Located at the timesquare of the city, the place was crowded forcing people to sit and rest on the floors. Even in the food court, in stores, people had to sit on the floor - and that mall, is a huge mall.


Cannot tahan one, had to take off my boots.

inside Toronto Eaton Centre


Nathan Phillip Sq - Toronto City Hall
Christmas deco inside Toronto Eaton Centre


Christmas trees in Toronto


Went to the Riverview Park && Zoo at Peterborough, Ontario. They've got some North && South American, Himalayan and African animals such as yaks, serval cats, llamas, donkeys, barbary sheep,  and Asian ones too such as the Bactrian camels, wallabies, pythons and many more. Most of them are new to me because they definitely can't be living in our local zoos in Malaysia. To replicate their natural habitat would cost too much, methinks.


Playing Bella in the woods feeling-feeling Twilight. But really I was just in the zoo.


Huge male Bactrian camel


fresh snow!



ready to dive!




Tomorrow, we're going ice skating :)

Sunday, December 23, 2012

Don't leap. Make baby steps.

Whereabout: Peterborough and Toronto (Ontario, Canada)
Weather: (-7) degrees Celcius

Bismillahirrohmanirrohim! I wish my readers a blissful day. I am delighted upon setting a new life goal. I hope this paradigm shifting goal will bring joy and barakah. Tolong aminkan? :) Also, this blog will undergo major changes again because I'm the boss of my blog! How much I like posting is how much I like deleting :)

Friday, December 14, 2012

Mass shooting in Connecticut

What did I say about rights? Rights should stay restricted.

Many are expressing their prayers and thoughts after this morning's heart wrenching news of the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in, Newtown, Connecticut, USA and stabbing in Henan, China. And many are forcing the US government to revise the second amendment. The second amendment of the United States Bill of Rights: protects the right to possess and use firearms - for individual use such as self defence - and the collective right to bear arms in a militia. I won't go deep into politics because I am not even remotely credible to be talking about politics. But I still hold my ground strong. The belief of having many rights as a citizen, doesn't lead to a freer, a happier country. Sungguh jelak bila dengar diorang mencaci dan mengutuk negara-negara lain yang tak punyai hak dan kebebasan seperti yang diorang ada. Clearly, ignorance dictates their minds. I fought back several times, expressing my belief that things could've been better with regards to rights. Some value my thoughts, and some just prove that to argue with a fool proves there are two. I don't mind people disapproving my point, but to say that they are better than others is just BS.

Newtown is (or should I say was) the safest place in America. Now that the tragedy has poisoned that claim, we all know now, there isn't really a safe place in this world. Bersyukurlah kat Malaysia orang active tembak burung gagak je - that's what abah said. Funny kan but nasib baik.

My condolences to the victims and to the affected families, in Newtown and Henan, China. No child in this world deserves to be traumatized. My prayers go out to suffering children around the world, who are in wars, abused at home, abandoned, etc. I wouldn't know how to react if I was in their place. Ya rabb, jauh kan lah. Not forgetting my young muslim brothers and sisters, who don't even know what it's like to live in peace, to live without war. They are the true soldiers. “La Tahzan Innallaha Ma’ana” - Don’t be sad. Indeed, Allah is with us. [Qur’an 9:40].

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Our last winter

I'll be graduating in May 2013, Insha Allah. Pray for my success!

It's my last winter. The fourth and the final. This was on day 1, Sunday. I was never really into snow, unlike the others. I never did any snow activities. Well, last year, I did sledding and snow shoeing. That's about it. I never made snowmen. This season, I think I should try skiing or snowboarding.



The weather: It stopped snowing but we're having freezing rain now. Final exams scheduled on Monday were cancelled due to that. Freezing rain means the ground is covered with ice - not just snow. It's really dangerous for pedestrians because the way UNB buildings are designed, they're located along the hill. So we have to be extra careful not to slip. I and D hold hands all the time :p I saw a car driving up the hill, struggling. The tyres were spinning fast but the car couldn't move up. I thought it was funny so I recorded a cinemagram gif of it - then the app crashed and I lost the video. Boohoo.

Still above -15 so that's good, for now.

We're a ball of tangled spaghetti

I just have something brief to say that may cause a stir to some people, especially to those firm believers of individualism, feminism and freedom of choice. Not too sure why I'm creating this entry. Maybe because I am particularly annoyed by some cultures. Cultures yang over semangat memperjuangkan sesuatu yang simple, tetapi diputarbelitkan, dikomplikasikan.

The western influence has undoubtedly brought many positive contribution to the rest of the world - not forgetting ourselves, the more 'conservative' side of the map. But like how Aristotle put it,
"the virtuous habit of action is always an intermediate state between the opposed vices of excess and deficiency: too much and too little are always wrong; the right kind of action always lies in the mean."
In simpler terms, it means that even good things, if you do them too much, become bad for you. With all these endless fights for rights, it is no wonder that even the biggest, most influential economy is in perpetual chaos.

Here are some controversial issues that I personally agree on, usually of discrimination and civil rights:

Gender gap must exist. Men and women can't be equal.

Love does not feed the stomach - it is not 'all you need' - it does not make the world go round.

Women and men were not created to be independent of each other.

Men should be the head of a household, the breadwinner, the provider, the protector. Women should know how to work the kitchen, no matter how modern you are.

People can't have too many rights. Because people are greedy by nature.

There is no absolute freedom, and there shouldn't be any. Rights should stay restricted.

-

The world today is like a ball of tangled spaghetti. Go back to basics. Don't complicate stuff.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

Video of Davy

I know I've been posting a lot of photos/instagram/cinemagram of David lately but... you guys don't mind, do you? Hee!

Atas permintaan, ini dia video pendek kucing demok. You're welcome.



Friday, December 7, 2012

Thursday, December 6, 2012

End of Fall semester 2012

Final exam starts tomorrow.
One step closer to the end!
Bismillah.

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Food for thought

Whenever you feel like you're on top of the world, when you feel like nothing is above you, nothing scares you, nothing will stop you, when you have that powerful confidence that soars within you . . .

Kneel. Touch the ground. Make du'a. Say Alhamdulillah. It keeps you humble.

Less on the blog

I wouldn't say that I've got a lot going on right now. Because I don't. But it's pretty exciting. I finally get to be myself again, fully myself - after realizing that I wasn't feeling too much like me the last time. The reason is simple - things were just wrong in so many ways.

Now that I feel freer and more content, you can see why I don't blog that often. Plus, it's my final year, yo! I can't be on these social network sites all the time. Then lambat laun, I pretty much grew out of it already. I almost deleted my Facebook account because... what is it for again lol. But I have a 'family only' group that keeps me updated with my family and extended. So there you go, a reason to still keep Facebook. I still love Twitter though. It's my daily newspaper. Tumblr tu dah berhabuk rasanya. Blogger... still here. What else... can't even recall.
\
And as always, about school:
Final exam starts next week! Gila oi rasa macam baru semalam landing sini. One more semester afterwards then I'll be on my way to different places. I've so many plans and I don't think I can do it all, duh. Some plans are just undoable. Sigh!
Me and my friends (a group of 13 students) are joining Relay For Life Canada early next year. Another RFL woohoo!

The end







Eid ul adha

After being pushed to update my blog (Zzzzz.....), I decided to make a post about my trip to Halifax, Nova Scotia last month for Eid ul adha. It's my third (or fourth) visit to H-town, I think. It's the closest main city to Freddy. Takes about 4 hour drive to get there. So I rented a car with my friend and embarked on the journey the night before Eid.


Day 1: I slept in that day and didn't go for eid prayer. Too exhausted! We made roti jala, rendang ayam and pulut nasi that day. Then, we went to the park for a Salam Perantauan photoshoot. Hehe! At night we joined the Eid celebration by the Dalhousie Muslim Students Association. Got inai/henna booth and there were so many people waiting to get their henna done so we did our own henna design :)



The park was also a historical site. Behind us is The British (or French?) forte






 Day 2: Had all-you-can-eat sushi for lunch and another photoshoot!


We were fooling around and dreamt of becoming duta The Poplook (wishful thinking gila punya), hence the pose. But Poplook is doing an Instagram contest and I hashtagged this photo. Ha... Semangat?

This too was hashtagged thepoplooklove


 Took a panoramic photo of the lake we visited. App name: Photosynth, a 360 degrees photo stitching app.


Day 3: Went out shopping at the mall and baked with my girls! Made Red Velvet cupcakes and two Pavlovas. First attempt. It's decent. It's just that I'm not a big fan of pavlovas so....







Day 4: We had an early coffee session in front of the harbor, overlooking the wide open view of the waters (connected to the North Atlantic Ocean). One of my sweet girlfriends treated me Pumpkin spice latte :) Only one of the best lattes ever.
Harbour front. Panorama iOS 6

Harbour front




I had a really good time. Love them :)


Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Serendipity

Serendipity: "happy accident" or "pleasant surprise"

I'm so glad that I didn't turn my back on fate. I'm so glad that I believed. I'm so glad that I knew for sure. Looking from the point where I stand now, I see what was wrong then. And now, knowing what I lost was something that I NEEDED to lose, that's a bless. I'm just glad. Life is good and I thank God for that :)

Happy Deepavali

Saturday, November 10, 2012

I see it now...

I see now why the kitchen floor has been squeaky clean lately . . .

Someone has been scrubbing the floor! Mystery solved!

Created with cinemagr.am

Friday, November 9, 2012

David

Probably one of the few things that makes sense to me right now is David. He's gorgeous. He's got them deep green eyes, muscular body and pointy ears. Silent but deadly. Mischievous. Manly face structure. Oh he's real I tell you. Here you go, you're welcome.




Created with cinemagr.am

Thursday, November 8, 2012

No title

I've been wanting to update this blog for weeks. But hey it's November! What's up with November? Er.. only the busiest month of the year. I wanna write about my short getaway to Halifax for eid ul adha. But. . . . maybe next time.

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Motto


"Talk less. Listen more."

My new motto haha. It's hard though. I like to talk. I talk a lot. Macam kereta api laju dia. I'm too friendly sometimes, and so I talk talk talk. I'm also very defensive and like to guard my ground way too much. Instead of listening, I selalu lawan balik. Kadang-kadang tak ada point pun, tapi cakap macam I betul aje. I have to do something about that because it's not healthy! Believe me! I hope people won't be weirded out and think I'm depressed or something sebab tak banyak potpet. Haha I still laugh, talk, socialize and crack jokes a lot! I wanna listen more, not go mute lol.

Good day everyone! Breakfast jom, pekena kopi pekat sikit.

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

My answer to March 25th post

On that day, I wrote a post about making happiness a choice. In the third paragraph I questioned myself, "What defines happiness and how does one get to it?"

I think I'm somewhat there. Not quite there yet, but almost. In the past I used to believe that happiness is when problems are absent. Funny, when did life ever give us a hall-pass?

So what is happiness to me? I don't want some cliche answers like "it's when you come home to your family." I mean, that's happiness alright but that doesn't answer the big question.

I found two answers. One, having strong faith. Two, being free. 

I never lose faith. It was more of a habit to say "I lost faith" in things I wanted to give up on but then I realize that I never actually do. Accept fate whenever something goes wrong. It takes time to accept them, of course (I'm no Wonder Woman!). But I have faith in Him and I have faith in what is written. I believe that when someone possesses solid faith, nothing will knock them down. You will be more rational, calmer, wiser, stronger, more tolerant to sadness and all that sums up to happiness. Those who have faith in something (i.e. fate, religion), will always find his or her way back, no matter how far one got derailed. I was at my low points several times, denying what I shouldn't, but I'm thankful for my beliefs and thank god, all is well and I'm happy again.

Being free is happiness. Yup that's extremely vague. In my context, it is when I am free from being hold back, free from feeling like I need to impress the people around me, free from negativity, free from toxic environment, free to pursue the good, free to make mistakes and make amends, free to be human. It sounds like gibberish talk but read again and you'll understand what I mean. When I say "free to make mistakes and make amends" doesn't mean you are free to do evil and call it a mistake. Stop beating yourself up over your shortcomings. You must understand that. There is always a room for improvement, and He is forgiving. So free yourselves.

When you free yourselves, you'll start to see great opportunities that lie ahead, like I am! I apologize for not being able to explain it clearly because man, I suck at it. But if you do get my point, high five!

That's happiness to me for now. Who knows, tomorrow lain pula? :-) Semoga esok lebih baik dari hari ini.

The end

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Apple-picking

I had a wonderful weekend. We all went apple-picking at the Everett Family Orchard, about 15 minutes from Freddy town. I bought pure honey too that was harvested from the orchard.



Maddy, a beautiful retired racing horse

Having lunch on a child's wagon lol



Beautiful isn't it? I keep complaining about being in this small town. I wanted to be put somewhere closer, better, and bigger. Being a 'city girl', who would have thought that I would end up this way? If I wasn't destined to be here, I'll never realize how much a small place could offer. How green the trees could be. How blue the skies could be. How silence can bring so much good. It's nice, to just sit and look over. Everything we could see, hear, taste and feel, thanks to Allah Al-Khaliq (The Creator) and Al-Hafiz (The Preserver). And to Him everything shall return; Al-Mumit (The Destroyer).

"It's nice being away. I think it's important to get away from where you've grown up for some of your life." - unknown.


Friday, September 21, 2012

Mandi garam: Target areas

On Tuesdays and Thursdays I'm free after 11.30 AM. That's my gym time. On both of these days, I usually just wear sweat pants or dry fit pants, a dri fit sports bra, a t-shirt on top, a sweater, a pair of flip flops and off to school.  I pack my indoor sneakers inside my bag, along with a water bottle, a banana/bar and of course, ear phones. Maybe next time I can start bringing a towel so I can shower at the gym. I know my activities will be restrained when midterms, tests and group projects pile up and I have to stay back on campus. No me gusta.

My target areas are thighs, love handles, and arms. I don't have flat abs so it should be a target area too but I don't do any ab-focused exercises, at least not now. Maybe I should add that to my routine soon.

What do I do there? I run, I cycle, I do the machines, and I lift light weights with more repetitions. If you want to gain muscles, go for heavier weights. If you just want toned up arms, lighter weights with more reps shall do the trick.

I start with cardio. I run for about 20-35 minutes while watching cartoons on the screen.



Then I cycle for 20-45minutes on my favourite machine ever. The bike! I have a bike there that I call my own. It's nicely placed in that gym and I only cycle on that particular one. Picky kan? The best thing about this machine is it burns a lot of calories in a minute (way more than running) and it's got over 50 channels for me to watch. Well, at least the ones in this gym has. Last Tuesday, I was so into this People's Court show (a reality court case show). Right after the 30 minute show, I burned almost 300 calories with slow cycles.  That's just cycling. You run, you lift weights, you do squats, you do machines, you can burn more than 500 calories under 1 hour if you're consistent. I'm never consistent so it took me about 2 hours plus to get to that level. Especially when People's Court is on! I can't focus haha.


Another machine that I often use: the hip abductor. I read that this machine can sometimes be dangerous to your muscles: "Muscle isolation is dangerous because it causes undue stress on the joint involved in the exercise. Our bodies and muscles are designed to work in a synergistic way, not in isolated blocks." I should read more into this.




Live healthier

For me, each gym session would normally take 1 to 1.5 hours, 2 or 3 times a week. Except when there's People's Court I could stay for another hour lol. I do different types of workouts at home. You'd be surprised by the things you could use at home to replace exercise equipment. I love Jillian Michael's workouts and sometimes I just go on Youtube to change things up a little bit.

I eat big after each session. Preferably within 45 minutes (maybe up to 60) after working out. This period, known as the golden hour, is when the muscles absorb the most nutrients! I don't have the healthiest diet but I try not to eat too much oily food. I got rid of my junk food habit about more than a year ago. No carbonated drinks and avoid fast food. But it's not like I don't eat fast food at all. Once in a while, I call the pizza delivery, buy a box of deep fried wedges, bake cakes. Moderation is the key.

But it's easier here. You buy your own groceries, you get to pick what you want. Whether it's gluten-free or soy-based or organic or whatever. The cost of living is expensive so we avoid eating out to save up. You cook, you eat your own food, that's the best option. Coconut milk and red meat are my enemies now, sadly. They give me this terrible headache. It's my high cholesterol level that I need to fix before it gets worse. So I use full cream milk instead.

I 'inherited' this lifestyle from a friend and I think I just got used to it. It's really not that hard as I thought it would be. I mean, 2 or 3 times a week, 1 to 1.5 hours per session, that's not bad right? It's still hard to say no to a bag of chocolate chip cookies but it's all in the head!

Thursday, September 20, 2012

I time traveled

I've been trying to convince everybody that God had speed up the clock by 2 hours this morning. Nobody believes me! Why?

So here's the story.

I was supposed to sit for a quiz this morning at 8.30 AM. So I had my alarm fixed at 6.45 AM the night before. After the alarm went off, I pressed "off". Then, I looked at the time, it was 6.46 am. I figured, "ok lah nasib baik baru 6.46 am. Nak browse Twitter kejaplah for 5 minutes then I can terus bangun before subuh habis." I opened the twitter app on my blackberry. I browsed the timeline, I replied a friend's tweet and browsed the timeline again. Just when I was about to lay my phone down and rise from my bed, it was already 8 freaking 24 AM. I swear people, I time traveled.

No, I did not fall back asleep after the alarm went off. I LOOKED at the time it was 6.46 AM. For goodness sake, I browsed twitter siap reply tweet lagi. Siap plan, ok lepas tu boleh breakfast before pergi sekolah. And then Boom! It was 8.24 AM. Explain that! Firasat saya mengatakan, something bad was bound to happen betwen 6.46 to 8.24 AM so God had speed up the clock to save me! LOL. I know it sounds ridonkulous but I'm not joking! I really, really, really time traveled.

Ok sambung.

Shocked, I thought "Day-light saving mode dah start ke?!" (time during which clocks are set one hour ahead of local standard time; usually in November). Still in denial, I turned on my trusty laptop just to look at the time. It was indeed 8.24 AM. "Weh! Weh! Wehhhh!" Terjerit-jerit I. I called the cab, brushed my teeth, reached for my pair of jeans, pulled out my sweater and off to school. Then the professor decided to postpone the quiz. What! Thanks a lot lah. I didn't get the chance to look at myself in the mirror as I had another class entailing the first one and I was so drawn into what happened this morning. I realized then, after 3 hours, that my hair was defying gravity all the while. Great.

TRUE STORY, BRO. I should be on the Ellen show or something.

Young & foolish

How was your high school years? Was it nice? Did you do a lot of sports? Were you the teacher's pet? I know I had a great time. Never been bullied. Privileged. Active. Ever gotten into any big trouble? Did stupid things that you regret? Hey I was once a high schooler too. I've had piercings in weird places (stop, nope, I did not pierce there). I took out all of them, except for ear piercings . What a kid I was! Someone once asked me, kenapa you still keep 'that'? I couldn't remember what I answered. But if the question comes about one more time, I would say to remind myself that I was once young and foolish.

Not that the ____ itself is foolish. It's more of a retrospective thing. It was in the era of foolishness. Do you have anything that you own to remind you of your young self or is it just me? I keep it because I wanna see how far I've grown up. I guess when I'm finally 'all grown up', I'll get rid of it.

p/s: I know I did a lot of flashbacks recently. A self-introspection requires a lot of flashbacks.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

Snowflakes on my pillow

I feel the need to advertise this life-changing product. I've been combatting flaky scalp since high school (NO, I do not want to call it dandruff problem because mine is majestic like snowflakes lol). I've tried all sorts of shampoo, from the lowest end like RM3.90 Rejoice to high end products like L'occitane, those shampoos with guys name, and weird Japanese brands that cost a fortune but none of them worked. There is this one time when I really wanted to shave my head, I kid you not. I didn't do it obviously because then it would emphasize the manly look that I naturally have.

I finally found the cure to my problem . . . at Walmart! (Ha... who doesn't love Walmart)

It's a Head & Shoulders shampoo, with Clinical Strength written on it. It says on the label that the shampoo is to treat seborrheic dermatitis, whatever that is. I'm guessing it's some bad ass itchy scalp condition. I only understood "clinical strength" so I thought. . . Hmm, it's like going to the clinic, but you pay the Walmart price. Smart! Hehe. But this saved me from shaving my head, so thank you. I no longer have itchy scalp. But I still have a bad habit of scratching my head even if it's not itchy. The snowflakes on my pillow and shoulders have stopped too. I'm amazed, really. Like, how often do you go into a store, and buy a shampoo that actually does what it says it's gonna do? "No more split ends after the first wash, natural bouncy curls, sleek straight hair, all-day smelling good." No, na'ah.

It also comes with a conditioner that works superbly well together. Please, CEO of Head & Shoulders, please sell this in Malaysia.


Active Ingredient: Selenium Sulfide (1%)

Dunya

I was reading this one article yesterday that was sent to me by a fellow friend. Below is my favourite quote from the author. It goes,
"Like a glass vase that you place on the edge of a table, once broken, the pieces never quite fit again. But the problem wasn’t with the vase. Or even that the vases kept breaking. The problem was that I kept putting them on the edge of tables . . . But the [things that] broke me were not to blame any more than gravity can be blamed for breaking the vase. We can’t blame the laws of physics when a twig snaps because we leaned on it for support. The twig was never created to carry us."
- Yasmin Mogahed 

It's not super straight forward, but at the same time it's not rocket science either. So I'm sure you can relate it to yourself. Anyway, the context that Mogahed was referring to was her younger self who was repeatedly being disappointed by all the things around her, and later discovered that the sole reason was that she was too attached to dunya (the temporal world).

Interesting, don't you think?

Friday, September 14, 2012

Back in F-town again after a long summer

Freddy town is same ol' same ol' if you ask me! But, there's a but! H & M is opening soon at the mall and when D and I paid a visit there last week, the store renovation is taking a whole row. It's gonna be massive! I know that H & M Kuala Lumpur is opening soon, or September 22 to be exact. But please don't compare it with F-town! The first Apple store in town just opened last 2 weeks, for goodness' sakes. Well, it's just an Apple premium reseller but it's good enough. Now, I can just go to the brick-and-mortar store if I need anything for my Macbook or iPhone (or ... my first generation iPod touch that doesn't seem to work anymore lol) rather than having to order online.

Speaking of which, what do you guys think of the new iPhone 5? Well, if external qualities are your main focus, you might fall in the indifference category. It's slimmer and longer but relatively speaking, it looks just about the same as the previous model. But I didn't have high hopes for the external design as Apple always keeps its product design sleek, simple and clean. Never out-of-the-world fancy. I look at both externally and internally but really what's on the inside matters the most (aww). Canada's pre-order starts today, 14th of September 2012 through Apple's website. I keep refreshing the website but dia tengah 'updating the store' saja dari tadi. That's good news tho. I have my visa ready already. Excited! Incase you're wondering, I sold my iPhone 4S already before I left Malaysia. Yes, just to get the 5. Boom. My life's boring here so please let me be in my own world and leave me and my techs alone. Haha-haa-ha.

School. What about school. It's okay I guess. I try not to fall asleep after subuh on Tuesdays and Thursday because my favourite course of the semester, Mathematical Econs is at 8.30 AM. I am not a morning person, so believe it or not this is my first 8.30 AM class since I started University. I slapped on extra concealer to hide my haggard looking eyes only to get "Hey Nada, you look very tired today". Ha.


Thursday, August 30, 2012

Journey to the west

Leaving my beloved country again in 4 days.
I’m not too sure of what to feel right now. There is sadness in leaving. There is hastiness in wanting to start my final year and returning for good. There is regretfulness in being here at the first place. But there is joy upon discovering the recent epiphany. Syukran ya Allah.
In a nutshell, I’m having mixed feelings. But they say, after the rain comes a rainbow. O Lord, protect me, guide me, shed me some light towards the better and improved. Amin.

Saturday, August 18, 2012

Eid mubarak

Ramadhan has left us again. Kalau panjang umur, semoga kita bertemu lagi. I can hear takbir raya loud and clear here in Johor Bharu. Mercun bunyi kuat! Berdesing telinga. But what's raya without it? :)

How is your family's way of celebrating eid? For me, we will gather at least two days before the big day and the kitchen would be full. Anak-anak dara, abang-abang, adik-adik semua tolong di dapur. On the first of Syawal, the boys will perform their raya prayers. We then have the big breakfast together. Then everyone will get busy for the main event - sesi bermaafan. We seek forgiveness from each other. It's always an emotional morning for everyone. We exchange ang pau after we salaam and ask for forgiveness. After that, we will take photos - hundreds of them. Individual photos, family photos, extended family photos, random photos, etc. Then we will leave the house and 'beraya' (visit) our relatives until evening.

The days after we travel from one place to another, and usually Pontian is the last destination before we return to KL.

Happy eid mubarak everyone. Maaf zahir dan batin andai terkasar bahasa atau terlajak kata. May we continue striving for the better and God bless all of you.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

When in doubt, ask.

When put into certain circumstances where you are caught in between believing your trusted friends or your significant half, what do you do?

Bestfriends are to be trusted. True? - Or not? I think chances are that they are telling 'what they know' - which does not always accurately imply the truth. Maybe in the first place all they wanted to do is to save you. Maybe the story was highly exaggerated. Maybe the story was 100% false. At the end of the day, there is only one thing that's best: You ask. As simple as that.

Assumption is like the mother of all causes of misunderstanding. One-sided stories are no less a culprit. I know humans have the tendency to believe easily but at least try to use your conscience before believing every single word that the next person utters.

I'm miserable, to be honest. I'm not a pity party girl but I'll make an exception this time. I'm sad that wherever I go, no matter how far I've gone, no matter how much I want to move on, the past will never let go of me. I was already at the point where I really do not give two cents anymore. Ya'll can go on and talk rubbish until, I don't know, you die? It's like I'm forever the bad one. But this time, please, let it go already. Can't you just believe me when I say things are different now? Things have changed. I have too and still changing. From the bottom of my heart I mean it. How miserable do I have to be before you're finally happy?


Friday, August 10, 2012

Last 10 days of Ramadhan - one special night

We are 9 days away from Eid. Have you been a good girl/boy? If yes, keep up the good work and InsyaAllah we will all be happy happy happy people!

I am also writing this to remind you about malam Lailatul Qadar yang sunat dicari. This special night falls within the last 10 days of Ramadhan (which is happening now). In Surah Al-Qadr 97: Ayat 3:
"seseorang menghidupkan satu malam (dengan ibadah) itu sahaja, ganjarannya lebih baik daripada 1000 bulan."
It's interesting if you read the history and fadhilat of Lailatul Qadar. It is more interesting if you read the tips on how to 'find' the night. Do your research if you wanna know more.

I know I haven't been the greatest person, but I do have the desire to discover this one particular night, even when sometimes I don't think I qualify for it. But there is no harm in trying, God is Almighty and if He says I can, then I can. I've heard many stories about the night. Mother once told me about her encountering a bright light during Subuh, many many years ago. Amazing.

Well, I'm not here to give a talk. Just to share something! Have a lovely day.

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Letting go

As you all know, me and several of my girlfriends are opening a pre-loved goodies booth this weekend at LFLWRaya. Do come and check us out!



Pricing the stuff I wanna sell now. It's 3 in the morning.



Good bye clothes and shoes. I don't wear you. I don't even remember having half of you in my closet! That's what you get when you're away for several years. Gosh, I need to revamp my wardrobe. I'm 22 but I don't dress like a 22 year old. Meeeehehehehe.

I need long skirts, pants, slacks, non-denim bottoms. Blouses. Collared shirts. Silk tops. Chiffon tops. Tudung? :)

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Here's my story - robbery

Hi! My day didn't kick off so good today but I decided to just brush it off my shoulders, you know?

As some of you might already heard of, me and my best friend A weren't so lucky last week. I've already told the story about A's case here. Here's mine.

On 24th July, last Tuesday, I had an iftar session with a group of friends. I live the furthest amongst them, so as per usual I drove alone. On our way back, at 10.40 PM I stopped at the red traffic light at simpang empat Jalan Ampang/Jalan Jelatek. My friend's car was in front of me. A motorcycle (two passengers) stopped at my vehicle's co driver's window and knocked it three times with his right elbow before it shattered at the 4th hit. Many cars started honking but no one came to rescue (who would?). My purse was placed underneath my telekung, but maybe it was visible enough? They took away my purse and its content except for my iPhone. I have a bad habit of always checking my phone while driving, but that habit saved me from losing my phone. It was under my bum.

As soon as they got away, the traffic light turned green. I hit D and started flashing light non-stop to alert everyone. The motorcycle got away. I, on the other hand, went almost crazy.

We stopped at the nearest Petronas station and started calling many people. My friends called the police, and friends, and the bank. I was on my knees. But I know just crying won't help, I had to take control.

I know my Maybank pin code was bad ass hard to figure, so my priority shifted to my Canadian bank account and credit card. I've been meaning to change my pin code since forever but . . . I'm sometimes stupid. The 1800 line didn't work and I panicked like crazy. D doesn't have a phone, so I called her boyfriend in Canada to block ALL access to my checking, saving and credit card accounts. At the same time I was trying to retrieve any number that I could use to get in touch with the right extension. Long story cut short, with the help of my friends, I managed to block everything, including my Maybank account. I was so relieved to know that no recent transaction took place. I'm sorry to all the bank agents who had to deal with me that night. I shouted a lot. And sorry I called three times to block the same thing. Was just making sure.

We lodged a report at the Setiawangsa Police station before they transferred us to Sentul Police station for further investigation. [Fun fact: four different police station visits in three days]. My friends drove me off back home that night at 2 AM. I informed the guard about the robbery and to guard all gates. The robbers have my keys and address, you see.

The day after, my dad changed all four windows of the car to tinted ones. Changed the autogate setting. Bought a padlock and four pepper sprays :D

Incase you're wondering, yes I'm okay. Obviously, the trauma is there but it's not the end of the world. I'm back on the roads yesterday.


Summer started out great but now it's getting bumpy. Big bumps. But I haven't lost faith and hope. It's Ramadhan and things like this happen to test our patience. You get double the award, that's what I like to tell myself. I lost a lot of things in a month. Things that are very valuable and important to me. But it teaches me many life lessons. One of them is that you will know who's really there for you when you're at the bottom. Who would give a hand and who would look away. Last but not least, you will know next time, you just need to hit gear D and ram that m_______r.

Saturday, July 28, 2012

First step is to admit

In my younger days I have always been a happy-go-lucky person. Nothing gets in my way. I could say I was fairly problem-free, or at least I think I was. School hasn't been my specialty, but I have always been lucky for big exams. I didn't have to go through weird phases you see teenagers had to face. I admit that I had it the easy way. I'm that lucky you see. And that, sadly, has turned me into a not-so-nice person. It happens, when you take so many things for granted and never learn how to appreciate nor how to even feel bad about bad things. Yup, that was me. #Notproud

At some point in life, when you get so many bitch slaps, there will be a time when you stop for a second, and thought

"This doesn't seem so fun anymore."
"Yeah. . . I'll pass"
"Nope"
"I don't want to."
"Something else is more important."

You will grow out of it. You find the things you used to do useless, not beneficial or plain boring. You start to ponder about things, about religion, make serious decisions and judgements, think about people's feeling, think about consequences of your own actions. You grow up. You start looking for permanent happiness.

I wouldn't say I've gone through so many hardship because that is simply not true. But I learned a lot for the past 5 years. I learned about life, people, relationship, etc. How to juggle between classes and cooking. How to live on your own. How to work. How to earn. How to get back up when you fall.I'm proud to say I learned through first hand experience and through the people around me. What do you know, I'm still standing. Shaky, but still standing.

To learn a lesson, the first step is to ADMIT. I admit, that I wasn't the nicest person. I still am not. I do nasty things, I hurt people's feeling and I have wronged so many people and to God. I apologize from the bottom of my heart to the people who I have caused pain. To my parents, to my friends, my housemates, K*, my sisters, my brother, and everyone else. I will not stop trying to be better. I'm still growing.

Friday, July 27, 2012

Sharing a bad experience

I wanna share a story. A bad experience but filled with lessons to be learned. But each time I attempted an introduction, my hands get wet and my heart beats too fast. I get shaky, and I get scared. I still wanna share it because I'm sure it will be beneficial to everyone. I will share it soon when things are a little okay.

P/S: Let's take a break. Let's watch the Olympics.

Long but worth reading. Might save your life

From one of MARAH's member's wallpost:

Just to share from a friend who attended an awareness program: 
My office organised a City Survival talk for the women in the office. It was supposed to take 3 hours - which it did - and I spent another hour talking to the Safety Activist after that. His name is Capt. K. Balasuprananiam and he was fascinating. Besides helping with rescues and clean ups in post-disaster areas and human remains recovery, he has also been involved in crime investigations where the victims were murdered. He has spent a lot of time studying human behaviour and using what he has learnt to improve personal safety. The thing is that you CANNOT tell by just looking if someone is a criminal. Most crimes are crimes of opportunity so reduce the possibility of that opportunity! 
I wanted to share some of what Capt. Bala told us for your safety. I can't remember it all to write it all down here but here are some of the key things I remember from yesterday. If you have a group of friends and would like to get Capt. Bala in to give you and your friends the same talk that my office arranged for us, City Survival, you can. CIty Survival is specifically for women and women who are mothers to help them keep their daughters safe.
Capt. Bala talked about the Green Zone, Yellow Zone and Red Zone and how easy it is to slip from one zone into the next just by being incautious. He also said that women tend to have a very powerful radar but sometimes, they are complacent and they've gone from Green to Red before they realise the extent of the danger they've put themselves in. He discussed the office as an example. During the work day, it is the Green Zone - your colleagues are around. 6.30 - your colleagues begin to pack up and leave. The numbers are reduced but it's still safe. 8pm, more colleagues have left. The office is now a Yellow Zone. 10pm, the security guard comes around... even less people. 11pm the security guard comes around again and you're the only one still around. You are now in the Red Zone! What do you do? Below is advice given about taking taxis but I'd use the advice for office situations too - pick up the phone. Call or PRETEND to call someone. Apologise for "running late", say you're still in the office but about to leave. Casually mention that the security guard has come around a couple of times. Make sure the guard hears you talking to someone. LEAVE the office soon after - just as you said you would during the phone call.  
TAXI RIDES. Never take a taxi if you feel there's something funny about the taxi driver. Make an excuse like you've forgotten something, apologise for flagging him down and walk away. You can always wait for another taxi. When in a taxi, make a phone call. Tell the person that you're in the taxi "on the way over" as though you're meeting up with someone, where you are currently and that you think it will take X minutes to reach wherever you're going. Mention the colour of the taxi conversationally as well as the cab number. After that, call another person - make it seem like you're meeting a group of people. Again, talk about your location, the time it will take to reach the destination, the cab colour and the cab number, in a conversational tone. That's TWICE now you've talked about the taxi. The driver knows that at least two people are expecting you and they know what taxi you're in and how long it will take for you to reach them! 
Pepper spray - buy water-based pepper spray. If it's powder form, if the wind blows wrong, it can blow back into your own eyes! It's generally safe to buy any pepper spray from the US as there are strict regulations on the pepper spray formulation. Don't buy the China ones - lack of regulations - you don't know what they've put in and are endangering yourself and may blind yourself. With keyring pepper sprays, get the ones with the keyring at the bottom so that if you're attacked while you're driving you can pull out the pepper spray from the keyring without having the switch off the engine first. The keyring at the bottom also means your keys are below and won't block the spray trajectory if you're holding your keys when you have to use the pepper spray. 
Carabiner clip. Prevent your handbag from being stolen by using a carabiner clip to secure your handbag to a chair - especially good in restaurants. The snatch thief's not going to be able to get far if he's dragging a chair along! 
Beware of stalkers. NEVER accept mobile phones as gifts, especially smartphones. If someone wants to give you a mobile phone, you go to a shop, pick the phone you want and then let them pay for it. If it comes, already bought, find a polite way (stalkers are never rational people so this requires gentle handling!!) to reject it or change it. They could have installed spyware to track your movements, your SMSes, MMSes, emails, phone conversations and other private communications. With repairs to the phone, always take it yourself and always to an authorised dealer or distributor. If spyware is found in your phone, it's easier to pinpoint the culprit if it's not some backstreet repair joint. Authorised dealers/ distributors have a vested interest in making sure your phone is not tampered with. Never leave your phone lying around as it only takes seconds to download spyware.
Stalkers from afar! Do you know how easy it is for someone to get your mobile phone no? If they have your home address, all they have to do is call Pizza Hut or Dominos or McDonald's Delivery and say, "my girlfriend asked me to order her pizza (or burger) but I can't remember what she said she wanted. She's going to be sooo cross with me - haha! Can you tell me what she usually has?" Then the stalker gives your home address so that the Call Centre person can verify her past order details. "Ok, make that two of the same then and oh, just to check, sometime ago my girlfriend changed her mobile no. I don't know if she's updated her records with you. Can you tell me what no. you have in your records?". Now your stalker has your mobile number! 
Driving safety. Always lock your doors! Always put your handbag on the floor of the car, NEVER on the seat. Even if you're a passenger in the car, put it on the floor - not on your lap.
I'm sure you've seen this on FB:
Should you choose to take this kind of course of action, here is some advice. Always leave at least 4ft between you and the car infront at traffic lights. Once you knock the snatch thieves over, unless you have them pinned or seriously injured, get out of the car and RUN FOR IT! They likely had a parang to threaten you with when they broke your window and if they're not seriously hurt enough, they will come after you. But as my Dad always says, it's you or them...................... 
Car chase on the highway. It is not unknown for robbers to work in gangs in four cars. They hem you in in front, at the sides and at the back. Their intention is to force you to the side of the road then rob you. They have been known to rape too. TAKE OUT THE CAR BEHIND FIRST! Cars are designed to withstand collisions from the rear. Try to create as much space as possible between you and the car infront. Slam your brakes on suddenly, shove your gear into REVERSE straight back and ram the car behind you as hard as possible. YOUR INTENTION IS TO DAMAGE THEIR CAR RADIATOR. Some cars, the engine will actually drop to the ground. The cars in front and at the sides would be travelling forwards and have gone quite far ahead before realising something has happened. Use this disarray - they have to coordinate themselves, after all - to breakaway and head for the nearest toll gate. Drive to the TUNAI lane - there MUST ALWAYS an attendent there to collect the cash and HORN LIKE CRAZY to draw attention to yourself. 
If it's one car that's chasing you and you don't think you can outrun them or the speeds are getting excessive and dangerous to you, drawing attention to yourself.
Knock into the other cars on the highway/ road and cause damage. The irate car owners will give chase - now you have an entourage - and some will even call the police. Head to the nearest toll gate and TUNAI lane and horn like crazy once you get there. 
Home security. If you have an alarm system in your house, chances are the company that installed your alarm has their sticker on the alarm box for all to know that you're being protected by ADT or CHUBB or Supa8 or whatever. That brand sticker is what will help the burglar break in more easily because they'll know what tools to use and how to disarm the alarm according to the brand. If your alarm was installed by ADT, put a CHUBB sticker on instead. When the burglar attempts to disarm the alarm, he will trigger it off instead! This was exactly how a very prolific burglar who targeted houses with alarm systems was caught out and ended up in jail. 
Signs that you may be targeted for a break-in or under surveillance by someone include:
your mail goes missing - they're trying to ascertain how many people in your household as well as your spending habits and lifestyle. You get calls but when you answer, no one speaks - they're trying to ascertain how many people in your household or if they know there are usually a few people in the household, if you're alone. If you get dropped calls, create the impression there are people in the home - put on the TV to a sports channel, and answer while grumbling about lazy people who sit there watching sports and can't even answer the phone; tell them to turn down the bloody TV, etc.
Always have visitors from time to time so that there is activity in your home making it harder for someone to know if you're alone.
Most houses have grilled doors that are secured with a padlock like this:
It's is very easy to cut through or burn off those two loops of metal with acid. A padlock protector box like this:
would cover the two metal loops of the door grill and the padlock loop, slowing down someone trying to break into your home and deter them from trying if it takes too long.
One of the biggest problems when people hear screams is identifying where the screams came from. When you are at home and screaming for help, don't shout "help", shout "fire" and shout out your location (no. 2 jalan 22/3, for example) and keep screaming like a broken record. People love a good blaze and will come out to see how big it gets! To make sure you're really heard, get a loud hailer (megaphone) or have a few around the home! There are models where you can pre-record a "help" message with your address and blast it out - complete with siren sounds - by pressing one button. Good if you freeze and can't shout 'cos you're scared. Get a man with a very commanding voice to pre-record your help message for more impact. 
Battery-powered vibration alarms for doors and windows are good because they're individual systems that aren't wired to each other. Taking out one doesn't take them all out! Remember to change the batteries once a year. A good way to remember when to change the batteries - do it on your birthday. Your gift to yourself. 
Peepholes on your front door. Always have TWO - one at eye level and one lower to the ground. This is so you have a way to check if you suspect there is someone crouching outside, low to the ground. Always have a cover for your door peephole on the inside. With a simple tool held up to the peephole from the outside, burglars can actually reverse the view through your peephole to see inside your home. 
Door security chains are shockingly easy to undo using a rubber band! Don't install your security chain strip horizontally - install it at a 45 degree angle to make it harder to slide off. Those door limiter devices which look more solid aren't anymore secure. Don't assume just because you have either of those on your door, that you are safe.

Do not assume that living in a gated community or in a place with security guards makes it safer. He gave some shocking examples. Have someone in your phone list that you can summon for help and when you do, can come in 5 minutes. Store the telephone number of the nearest police stations in your phone. DO NOT call 999 cos they're slow to respond!

This is just what I can remember off the top of my head. There were a few other things but these were the most striking personal safety points.

Stay safe!

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Jadilah, maka jadilah ia

“Innama amruhu idza arada syaian an yaqula lahu kun fayakun.” (Sesungguhnya urusannya-Nya apabila Dia menghendaki sesuatu hanyalah berkata kepadanya, “Jadilah!” Maka jadilah ia,” Qs. Yasin [36]:82).


Kun fayakun.

So we were at the police station just now

I hope everyone had a lovely day. I know mine started very well, and ended pretty bad. But I know all that has happened has a silver lining to it. God is Almighty and He does not simply throw bad luck to people for no reason. I believe this is one of the wake up calls He is giving us because He loves us dearly.

Me and my best friend A woke up early in the morning today to hunt down a couple of Jovian Mandagie's Aviraya pieces at Jalan TAR today. We spent two hours in that small, suffocating, humid store. We were so happy that we made a lot of friends there and exchanged many pieces between us (us and all the makcik kakak amoi adik) to find the perfect fit. The rest of the day was fine until the incident happened.

We went for tarawih at the mosque near my place. When we got there, it was already the first rakaat of isya'. Me, being a paranoid person, kept my handbag hidden in the car and only brought my wallet, my phone and my car keys into the mosque. I didn't want to bring my wallet but we had plans after tarawih so I just had to bring it with me. I placed it in front of me on the sejadah so that I can see them. On the other hand, my friend A brought her handbag in and placed it behind her. I had the thought to move her bag in front but I guess I was rushing so I proceeded with the jemaah. Imagine the regret I feel now!

What happened was. . .

During the second rakaat, her phone rang. Just as soon as we gave salam, at the end of fourth rakaat, her phone and her wallet were gone. It happened around 9 o'clock. At 9.15 PM, her bank account was totally emptied. Lucky thief guessed her PIN code correctly. It all happened within 15 minutes.

We went crazy for a while and all our sisters in the mosque were kind enough in trying to calm down the situation.

Although it didn't happened to me, it happened to my best friend and the fact that I was there and I could have prevented it made me feel guilty. The thief was just behind me, I could hear her voice, the feel when there's someone standing behind you. But you just didn't see it coming, you know?

It's Ramadhan, man. How do you stand in the face of Allah, in the mosque, when everyone is performing prayer, and still do your dirty works? How do you live like that? Do you not feel guilt? Do you not feel like human? I'm still overwhelmed and super angry but at the same time, I know that things like this happen everyday, and today it happened to us. What's more crazy? The thief picked up her phone call! It was dreadful to see your friend begging for her 2-month old phone. She would give up all the money in her account but all she wants back is her phone. But as expected, the thief didn't utter a word. All we could hear was the background music. What's more crazy? Her Facebook status is updated with a disturbing message.

To all my blog readers, please be extra careful from now on. Thieves are everywhere and they do not care how many people are surrounding you. Do not write important information such as PIN codes, account passwords, etc in your mobile phones. Do not use your birthday, your IC number or easy digit combination as PIN codes. If it happens to you, please, please block your bank account and credit cards via phone as soon as possible. I honestly do not believe the police can solve this issue so it is up to you to save what you can save.

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Ramadhan kareem

Ramadhan al Mubarak to all of my muslim friends! To everyone else, I know you'll enjoy the awesome variety of food at the Ramadhan bazaars. Please don't rip your pockets off just because they're selling all your favourite food. The popiah basah, the kuih onde-onde, the lompat tikam, the laksam, the ayam percik, the tempoyak ikan patin, the sweet savoury pulut panggang (my favourite). The last thing you wanna do during the holly month is to waste. It's a blessed month people, let us all try to be better, but don't just stop there! strive to continue being better :)

Entailing the holly month of Ramadhan is the patiently awaited Eid. Those who have perfectly done their parts during Ramadhan shall feel the utmost joy during Eid, I guarantee that!

Remember the rules of Ramadhan and always remember your nawaitu :)

Tuesday, July 3, 2012

Paris

Visited the great Eiffel Tower today.